When Love Mirrors the Divine

1 John 4: 7-10 – “He loved us”

“In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins”

How to understand the love that God has for us? how can we feel it in our lives? how can we live it every day? Throughout my life, I have gained many experiences. This statement, “Not that we loved God, but that He loved us” (1 John 4:10), reminds me of an experience from many years ago that may help illustrate this Bible passage.

For many years, I wondered why I loved someone who didn’t love me. At that time, even though I tried to understand why my heart felt such deep love for someone who didn’t deserve it, I couldn’t. One morning, during my daily meditation, I reflected on 1 John 4:7-10. When I heard the words, “Not that we loved God, but that He loved us” (1 John 4:10), something clicked inside me. I thought to myself, “I’ve found the answer to my feelings”. 

The kind of love I was giving to this guy was like God’s love. Even though he told me many times that he never fell in love with me, that it wasn’t real love but just attraction or a “carpe diem” moment, I remained by his side (even from a distance). Perhaps I didn’t want to accept the truth at first, or I convinced myself that things could change. Regardless, I stayed. 

This reminds me of how God stays with us even when we fail to love Him back. I don’t even understand myself why I stayed so long for someone who hurt me repeatedly—with no answers, no time, no interest, cold indifference, thoughtless reactions, and sometimes complete silence. He showed me every single day his lack of interest or perhaps his fear of feeling love and facing rejection. Even so, I cried constantly and hated myself for loving him. Yet, I still prayed for him. But why? I’m not sure. 

Perhaps this is how real love works—just as God loves us, not for what He gains but because it is His nature to love. If I think about it, it brought me no benefit—no money, work, status, fame, comfort, or security. On the contrary, it caused me anxiety, low self-esteem, and sleepless nights. From one perspective, it may not have been love but obsession. However, I loved him just as he was, with both his light and darkness, even though he didn’t believe me. 

This mirrors how God loves us: fully and unconditionally, even when we are indifferent or undeserving. I was certain of my love because I had never made so many changes in my life for anyone. I had never died to myself so many times to please someone. I had never forgotten myself for someone else. That’s why I feel it was real love. No matter what happened, I just wanted to be there for him because I saw something special in his eyes—a glimpse of a little, tender boy within this big and intelligent man, longing to be hugged and loved. Or perhaps it was simply a reflection of myself. 

When I realized all these things, I became aware of how often I hurt God with my actions. Like this man’s lack of response to my love (as I was expecting), my response to God’s love was similar. Despite my ingratitude, disinterest, disobedience, and flawed personality, God still loves me. He is the only one who truly cares for me and loves me unconditionally. 

This realization calls me to live differently every day. It reminds me to forgive, to persevere, and to reflect God’s love in my relationships with others. No matter what I’ve done in the past, how I’ve loved God, or how many times I’ve forgotten Him, He has always been there for me. His love is far greater than mine: “Not that we loved God, but that He loved us”. 

And that is the only thing that truly matters: “He loved us”. 

Michelle Orellana, SSpS.